Redneck Elevator

A redneck family from rural Alabama was shopping at a mall in the big city. It was their first time in a mall, so they were experiencing culture shock big time. The father and son decided to stroll around as the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but two shiny, silver walls that would silently move apart and then slide back together again especially caught their attention.

The boy asked, “Pa, What’s ‘dat?”

Pa (who had never seen an elevator) replied, “I Dunno, son. I ain’t never seen nuttin’ like ‘dat in my whole dang life. I ain’t got no idea’r what it ’tis.”

Then, while the two stared in amazement, an enormously overweight, frumpy, older lady waddled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. Once the walls opened, she waddled between them into a tiny room. After the walls closed again, the two watched the little numbers above the walls light up in sequence. They watched as the top number finally lit up. Then, they watched, as the small lights began to work their way back down.

When the walls opened again, out stepped a beautiful, curvy, 20-year-old blonde in a tight fitting, skimpy, little dress.

Quietly, still watching the gorgeous young woman, the Pa said to his son, “Boy . . . go . . . git . . . yo . . . Momma.”

More Redneck Humor…

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