Here are a few lessons one eventually learns from life:
- Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- Never lick a steak knife.
- Never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
- There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
- There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
–Thanks to Dave Barry