Humorous Quotes

Here are a few humorous quotations from various comedians:

Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet! –Groucho Marx

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. –Flip Wilson

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler. –W. C. Fields

I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either. –Jack Benny

Working out is important. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is. –Ellen Degeneres.

More Ellen Degeneres…


More Groucho Marx…

More Grandparent humor…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s