Three of My Favorite Jokes

The Internet is full of jokes, but, unfortunately, many of them are not very funny. At McCafferty’s, we try to publish only jokes and stories that we truly find funny. Here are three of my favorite jokes. I laughed out loud when I first heard them, so the chances are very good that you will like them too.

A pedestrian is walking past an insane asylum, and in the distance hears a bunch of the asylum inmates inside screaming at the top of their lungs, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!”

Intrigued, the pedestrian peeks through a hole in the fence to see what all the commotion is about, and, suddenly, a finger pops out jabbing him right in the eye.

He screams in pain, and the inmates all start gleefully shouting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!”

*****

A woman gets on a bus carrying her baby in her arms. The bus driver takes one look and says to the woman: “Lady, that is the ugliest baby that I have ever seen.”

Enraged, the woman stomps to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a passenger seated next to her: “That driver just insulted me!”

The passenger says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

*****

This joke is in honor of all of the American soldiers fighting the war on terror:

A large group of Al Qaeda terrorists are traveling down an Iraqi road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune. “One American soldier is better than ten Al Qaeda.”

The Al Qaeda commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune. Immediately a gun-battle breaks out, continues for a few minutes, and then only silence prevails.

The voice once again calls out this time saying “One American soldier is better than one hundred Al Qaeda.”

The Al Qaeda commander angrily sends 100 of his best killers over the dune and again a huge gun fight ensues.

After 10 minutes of battle, again one hears only silence.

The American soldier’s voice calls out this time “One American soldier is better than one thousand Al Qaeda.”

By now the Al Qaeda commander is totally enraged, so he musters 1000 fierce fighters and orders them over to the other side of the sand dune. Ak47 fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire all ring out as a terrific battle is fought.

But, eventually, once again there is just silence.

Soon one badly wounded Al Qaeda fighter crawls back over the dune to his commander, gripping the commander’s coat with his blood drenched hand the terrorist tells his commander in his dying words…

“Don’t send any more men. It’s a trap. There are two of them.”

More Al Qaeda Humor…

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