President George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice are sitting in a bar.
A customer enters the bar and asks the bartender, “Isn’t that George Bush and Condi Rice sitting over there?”
The bartender replies, “Yes, sir, it sure is.”
So the newcomer walks over to the pair, saying, “Wow, this is a real honor. What are you two doing in here?”
Bush answers, “We’re planning World War III.”
And the customer asks, “Really? What’s going to happen?”
Bush replies, “Well, we’re going to kill 10 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big breasts.”
The customer exclaims, “A blonde with big breasts?” “Why would you kill a blonde with big breasts?”
Bush turns to Rice, saying, “See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis!”
Blonde in First Class
A commercial airplane is en route to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.
A flight attendant sees her switch seats, so she politely informs the woman that she must return to economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful. I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here.”
Repeated attempts by the flight attendant prove unsuccessful at convincing the blonde to move. The attendant enters the cockpit to inform the pilot and co-pilot about the situation.
The co-pilot goes to first class to talk to the woman and also explains why she must move. Once again the woman replies, “I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful. I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here.”
After returning to the cockpit the co-pilot suggests that they should have the police arrest the woman when they land.
The pilot replies, “Wait a minute! You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde, so I speak blonde fluently.”
The pilot leaves the cockpit going back to the blonde illegally sitting in first class and whispers quietly into her ear.
She says, “Oh, no! I’m sorry.” Then she quickly and quietly returns to her seat in the economy class.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask the pilot what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
The pilot replies, “I told her first class isn’t going to Detroit.”
One Blonde To Another
A blonde was having major financial difficulties, so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.
She went to a local park and grabbed a small boy taking him behind a tree. Then she wrote the following note: “I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money.”
“Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the old oak tree in the park at 7 AM sharp.” It was signed, “The Blonde.”
The blonde pinned the note inside the lad’s jacket and then told him to go straight home.
The very next morning, the blonde returned to the park at exactly 7:01 AM. She found the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the old oak tree, exactly as she had instructed.
Inside the bag she found the following note: “Here is your money, but I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another.”
And, of course, we couldn’t quit without a blonde video: