We are reporting breaking news today. It seems that an unemployed zoologist went on a tranquilizer rampage at the San Diego Zoo today, randomly shooting his tranquilizer gun at staff and visitors leaving many brutally sedated zoo patrons in his wake.
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I personally have never been “brutally” sedated, so I can only imagine what a vicious moment it was. When are we going to develop a system to keep these hapless unemployed zoologists in check before any more of them go viciously postal?
More Breaking News: Wealthy Housewife Learns Spanish for Some Reason.
A millionaire housewife mysteriously took it upon herself to learn Spanish for some reason. Now Claire Thompson speaks to her domestic help in their native language.
This one is completely unexplainable. Why would a rich housewife want to know how to speak Spanish? Go figure.
Perhaps her husband should take her to a psychiatrist because she must be sick?