Category Archives: blonde

Racy Pamela Anderson Ad Banned In Britain – Video

Pamela Anderson-blue_eyes2

Remember Pamela Anderson, the gorgeous blonde bombshell who starred as a hot lifeguard in the TV series Baywatch. The former Playboy Playmate of the year is now 46 years old and still riles male hormones into a-churning overtime.

Lovely Pamela recently starred in a TV commercial for crazydomains.com.au in which she displays her still remarkable body clad in tattoos, a bikini and cream cascading down her incredibly supple body parts.

The United Kingdom’s Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has dutifully banned the commercial from Britain’s airwaves claiming the ad contains what it calls offensive content.

“…we considered the ad was likely to cause serious offence to some viewers on the basis that it was sexist and degrading to women,” the ASA ruled.

Naturally, Pamela and her publicist must now be reveling in the subsequent publicity that the ban has created. The ASA has turned an innocuous commercial that would have quickly faded away into a gold mine for Pamela and crazydomains.com.au.

Because the vid is hosted by YouTube, we apologize for any advertising you may be forced to watch in order to view the video:

The old Hollywood axiom, “any publicity is good publicity” obviously still holds true.

Is Dat Blonde Really Dat Dumb? – Video

Jessica, a gorgeous blonde, who was waiting for the bus at a crowded bus stop, wore some figure enhancing clothes like a bright red, tight leather mini skirt with matching leather boots and a high fashion leather jacket.

The bus arrived and it was Jessica’s turn to step aboard; however, she soon learned that her skirt was a little too tight. It did not allow her to lift her leg as high as the height of the bus’ first step.

Jessica grew a little embarrassed with her situation, but she flashed a short smile to the bus driver as she reached behind herself, unzipping her skirt a little. She thought that would release her skirt just enough to allow her to lift her leg up to the step.

But as Jessica once again tried to step onto the bus she soon learned that she still could not make that first step. By now everyone behind her in line to get onto the bus realized her situation, and there were a few muffled laughs, which only embarrassed Jessica even more.

Once again Jessica reached her arm behind her, unzipping her skirt just a little more. Once again she tried to raise her leg up to the step, and once again she was unable lift her leg high enough because of her tight skirt.

At this point most of the passengers on the bus realized what was delaying their trip, and they were actively talking about it. Some were shouting encouragement to Jessica. Naturally, she was getting very embarrassed with her situation.

She decided to give her skirt another go, so she again gave a little smile to the driver while she again reached her hand behind herself unzipping the tight red skirt just a little more. But three times were not the charm because she again could not reach that step.

At this point a large lumberjack type who was standing right behind her in line swiftly picked her up by the waist and gently placed her on the step she had tried so hard to reach.

By now Jessica was so embarrassed that she went ballistic, spun around to her would be Sir Lancelot and screamed at him, “How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!”

To which the lumberjack replied, “Well ma’am, I ordinarily would agree with you. But after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends.”

*****

This Blonde Ain’t so Dumb!

A very attractive blonde woman walks up to the bar in a quiet pub in the Irish countryside. She gestures alluringly to the barkeep, who quickly comes over to her.

When he arrives, she playfully tugs on his full, bushy beard bringing his face close to hers in the process. She starts to gently caress his beard, then she softly strokes his face with both of her hands asking, “Are you the manager?”

“Uh, actually, no, I‘m not,” he replies.

“Well, honey, can you get him for me? I need to speak to him.” While she speaks, she runs her hands up through his beard and into his hair.

“I’m afraid that I can’t,” breathlessly replies the bartender, who is getting excited about the possibilities. “Is there anything that I can do?”

“Yes there is,” she answers. “I want you to give him a message for me,” she says as she slips two of her fingers into his mouth, allowing him to suck them gently.

“Tell him that there’s no toilet paper in the ladies room.”

*****

The game contestant in the following video is not blonde, but the woman he is with is. Perhaps it is a birds of a feather situation. The contestant’s hair is gray, but it must have been blonde at one time cause smart he is not. Watch.

Obviously many members of the audience must also be blonde, because 56% of them believe that the sun orbits around the Earth.

What made this guy think he is smart enough to become a contestant on a game show? Perhaps he is the smartest one in his circle of friends, and they encouraged him to apply to be on the show.

“Well, Pierre is smart,” they say. “He should go on Millionaire. He is sure to win big time.”

Sorry, Pierre.

Ultimate Blonde Video – The Greatest Breasts in the World
Blonde Video Humor: Those Blondes Are at it Again
My Three Favorite Dumb Blonde Videos

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My Three Favorite Dumb Blonde Videos

These are three of my very favorite blonde videos. We have posted the first one before, but it is special enough to warrant posting again. A beautiful, young blonde is anxious to make her mark in show business. In her own words, she “was born to do this.”

But enough talk because a video is worth more than a thousand words. Give a look:

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Now, wasn’t that special?

*****
Johnny Carson was king of the late night talk shows for about 30 years. Many tried to dethrone him including Joey Bishop, Dick Cavett, Merv Griffin, and quite a few others.

But he reigned supreme, and one of the reasons was beautiful Carol Wayne, who was on his show 101 times. The following video is Carol’s last appearance on The Tonight Show because she passed away suddenly not long after this interview. Carol fit the dumb blonde stereotype perfectly, and, of course, Johnny knew exactly how to play it for the funniest effect.

*****

Well, we have saved the best for last. This video is from the Newlywed Game TV series which began its long run in 1966. The blonde in the video is a classic. She is the piece de resistance when it comes to dumb blondes.

Despite her lack of intellect, she is very cute and surprisingly appealing. If there was a hall of fame for dumb blonde videos, this one would be there right at the top. Enough talk. Watch and smile.

More Blonde Comedy
More Blonde Videos

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Ultimate Blonde Video – The Greatest Breasts in the World

More and More Blonde Jokes and Videos

Today we have yet more and more blonde jokes, along with some very clever blonde videos.

An attractive blonde was on her first date with a new gentleman friend whom she thought just might be Mr. Right. They were dining in an elegant first-class restaurant, and she especially wanted to make a good first impression.

But, suddenly, her onion soup got the best of her. Just as their waiter began serving the main course, the blonde released an enormous and embarrassing fart.

Completely mortified, she tried to cover up her distress by blaming the waiter. So she said, “Waiter! Please stop that immediately!”

“But, of course, mademoiselle,” the waiter responded graciously. “Which way was it headed?”

*****

Next we have a video of blonde stand-up comedienne Victoria Jackson regaling us with her version of a few blonde jokes:

*****

And where, can blondes get away with just about anything if they are good looking? Las Vegas!

Two male casino dealers working at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas were assigned to a craps table in a remote corner of the casino. They noticed a buxom blonde heading their way.

The blonde, who was gorgeous, walked up to their table and said, “I would like to bet ten thousand dollars on one roll of the dice. But, I would feel a lot luckier if I rolled the dice while I was totally naked.”

The dealers took one look at each other and immediately both agreed.

The beautiful blonde removed all of her clothes, stripping herself completely naked. She picked up the dice and began to shake them, which, of course, made some of her body parts shake too. The two dealers were in heaven watching the blonde shake and blow on the dice.

The blonde let the dice fly toward the other end of the table and then screamed, “I won! I won!” Then she started jumping up and down and, still naked, began hugging each of the dealers, who could not believe that this gorgeous, naked blonde was hugging each of them.

The blonde then picked up her money, gathered up her clothes and walked away.

The two dealers just stared at each other for a moment. Then the first one said, “What did she roll, anyway?”

The second dealer said, “What did she roll? I thought you were watching the dice!”

*****

How about a little more Victoria Jackson a little earlier in her career when she was new in show business and appeared on the Johnny Carson Show?

More Blonde Humor
More Blonde Videos

Memorable Blonde Jokes and Video

It is a special blonde celebration day here at McCafferty’s Pub. If you are blonde it is happy hour all day long for you. To honor the blondes and the joy they add to our world here at McCafferty’s, the patrons have come up with a few more blonde jokes, stories and videos.

If you are blonde yourself, there is a possibility that you may need someone to explain the jokes to you, so make sure that your other half is somewhere about while you read them.

The Firing Squad


A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are about to executed by a firing squad for perpetrating crimes against humanity. The brunette and the redhead are very beautiful, while the blonde is on the plain side and is slightly on the dumber side too.

The guards bring the brunette forward first, and the executioner recites his usual statement asking the brunette if she has any last requests.

Vanessa, the brunette replies, “No.”

Then the executioner shouts to his firing squad, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”

Suddenly Vanessa shouts out, “earthquake!”

Everyone is startled, surprised and is looking around for signs of an earthquake. Amidst all of the hubbub Vanessa, the brunette, manages to disappear and evade her date with destiny.

Naturally, the guards are very angry because they know they will be held accountable for letting the brunette escape. They next bring the redhead forward to face the firing squad, after which the executioner asks her if she has any last requests.

“no,” responds Nicole, the beautiful redhead.

Then the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”

Nicole suddenly screams loudly, “tornado!”

Once again, everyone including the guards is startled and looking skyward for signs of a tornado.

Amidst the hullabaloo, Nicole, the redhead, also manages to escape.

By this point, Ellen, the blonde, has figured out the secret to what the others did to escape. The guards angrily drag her in front of the firing squad.

The executioner then asks if Ellen has any last requests.

Ellen also replies, “No.”

So the executioner again shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”

At that moment Ellen, the blonde, suddenly shouts out, “Fire!”

*****
Police Lecture

A policeman is lecturing three blonde trainees who are studying to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hides it from view.

The policeman then asks the first blonde, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we will be able to catch him quickly because he only has one eye!”

The policeman, who is a little unnerved by her response, then says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his profile.”

Flustered by the first blonde’s ridiculous response, the policeman flashes the picture for five seconds at the second blonde and then asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second blonde is confident of her answer replying, “Ha! He would be easy to catch because he only has one ear! There can‘t be many suspects like that around.”

The policeman is beginning to lose his patience with his students and responds somewhat angrily, “What’s the matter with you two? Only one eye and one ear are showing because the photo is of his profile! Certainly you can come up with better answers than that!”

The officer instructor is extremely frustrated by now, but he shows the picture to the third blonde because he hopes she has more on the ball and the other two blondes. He asks in a slightly testy voice, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” Then he quickly adds, “now think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The third blonde looks at the picture intently for a quite a while, then says, “Hmm…the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is pleasantly surprised because even he doesn’t really know if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s a very interesting answer. You ladies wait here for a few minutes while I check the suspect’s file.”

Leaving the room the officer goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, then returns with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s true! The suspect does wear contact lenses. Good work young lady! How were you ever able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the third blonde replies. “He can’t possibly wear regular glasses because he has only one eye and one ear.”

*****
The Ventriloquist


While touring the night clubs performing one night stands a ventriloquist stopped one night to do a performance at a small town in Kansas. He began his usual routine with his dummy on his knee as he told blonde joke after blonde joke.

Suddenly a blonde in the audience stood up on her chair and started shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. Why do you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?”

She continued, “It’s men like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community. We’re unable to reach our full potential as a person because of your constant jokes. You and your kind perpetuate discrimination not only against blondes, but also against women in general. It’s a disgrace that is all done under the guise of humor!”

The ventriloquist was truly embarrassed and started to apologize.

But the blonde interrupted yelling “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee.”

*****

Our video presents an event where rugby and a beautiful blonde blend together harmoniously. How refreshing.

There is a language barrier in this video, but do not let that deter you. You will enjoy it no matter what language you speak.

Now isn’t that remarkable. Our bikini clad blonde was featured as athletic, beautiful and intellectual all in one video. There is hope for blonde stereotypes yet.

More blonde humor

Even More Blonde Jokes and Videos

Blonde jokes can be very funny. Here are a few more:

Elisha, a gorgeous blonde, received a new cell phone from her husband as a birthday gift. She had never owned a cell phone before.

The following day, while she was shopping at Target, her phone rang, so she answered it.

It was her husband, who said, “How do you like the new cell phone?”

Elisha replied, “It’s great, but how did you know I was at Target?”

*****

A beautiful blonde suspected that her boyfriend was cheating on her with her best friend. Because she was so depressed over the situation, she went to a gun store and bought a revolver.

Later that day she went to his apartment with the gun in her purse. Upon arrival she used her key to enter the apartment quietly. Then she sneaked up to his bedroom door.

She quickly threw open the door and saw her boyfriend lying in bed in the arms of her best friend. Unsure what to do next and overcome with grief, she pointed the revolver at the side her head.

Her boyfriend screamed, “Baby, please! Don’t do it!”

The blonde yelled back, “Shut up! You’re next!”

*****

One day a stunningly beautiful blonde was riding a horse. As they trotted along the blonde decided that she wanted to go faster and get the horse to perform a few tricks.

She began to turn the horse around in a circle. Suddenly, she started to slip and she grabbed the horse’s mane to keep from falling off. However, that did not completely prevent her from falling and she continued to slip.

She felt that the best thing to do was to jam her foot tightly into the stirrup.

Soon she was riding along hanging from the horse by just her foot, with her head banging on the ground.

Frantic with fear, she was almost near death when the K-Mart guy came over and turned off the horse.

Our video shows one of the funniest dumb blonde videos of all time:

Our Funniest Videos of 2007

Here are links to some of my favorite videos from 2007. Regardless of your taste, there is not a loser in the bunch:

Bathroom Break – by Jamie Kennedy, who is often an incredibly funny comedian. This video is one of the very best.

Sneak Thief Caught in the Act – A remarkably resourceful and clever gull actually figured out how to steal food from a convenience store.

Greatest Breasts in the World – Although this is a guy thing, this video can be hypnotic. It is definitely one of the best.

Redneck Slingshot – This video is typical of the redneck mentality. Not many mothers would want their daughter doing anything remotely close to this. But that is why it is funny.

Wedding Fight – If you like a good fight, this one of a Ukranian wedding is hilarious. With enough vodka in them these Russians will even beat up women.

Hot Dumb Blonde – Why is it that attractive blondes are often shortchanged intellectually? Perhaps it is God’s way of evening things up. In any case, this vid is really classic.

Paul Potts – Paul Potts was a diamond in the rough when he entered Britain’s Got Talent TV show contest. The video is remarkably heartwarming.

Redneck Mercedes – A German homeowner becomes fed up with the speeding traffic whizzing by his home and comes up with a redneck solution. Very entertaining.

Redneck Restroom – A remarkably clever idea. The video creator replaced a German rest room mirror with glass and substituted actors for what should be the reflection in the mirror. The result is very funny.

Redneck Dance King – A middle aged employee in a store with rock background music lets it all hang out, but he is not the best dancer you have seen. Remarkably funny.

Remarkable Dancing Parrot – This parrot actually dances to the beat of the music. Funny!

Redneck Hotel Maid – A short video with a very funny ending. Never trust your hotel maid again.

Lethal Snake Bite? – Poisonous snakes in the Middle East can be killers. Watch what happens when one sneaks up on these gentlemen.

This is Redneck Woman – A video compilation of many redneck women set to music. Very, very good.

Watch this Building Fall Down – A building in Serat, India, falls down all by itself and it is caught on video. Remarkable video!

Evolution of Dance – Chances are good that you have already seen this one, but the dancing is remarkable. Worth watching.

Redneck Heaven
– Another video compilation set to music (Dueling Banjos). Very entertaining.

Drunk Humor – A police officer is trying to administer a a sobriety test to an inebriated driver, but the driver flunks big time. Very funny.

Saudi Road Skating – This video brought the concept of road surfing to the world, but the Saudis did it first. Hard to believe video, but it’s real.

More videos

Blonde Video Humor: Those Blondes Are at it Again

We have three blonde jokes today in the form of three videos. It should be noted that no blondes were harmed or severely injured during the making of these videos, even the blonde waitress. However, the blonde in the first video was severely embarrassed.

Our first video is at the Miss Universe pageant. Imagine: you have been through so many beauty pageants that you feel like an old hand at it even though you are still not much older than a kid. You finally make it to the Miss Universe pageant for your real shot at the big time. You walk down the runway smiling and feeling confident, when suddenly…

Our second video shows a blonde waitress cleaning up a bar after hours, something that happens every night in bars all over the globe. This time, however, things went a little differently.

Our final video is just pure blonde in action. Watch:

More blonde humor

Funny Dumb Blonde


Today we have more dumb blonde jokes:

War Strategy

President George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice are sitting in a bar.

A customer enters the bar and asks the bartender, “Isn’t that George Bush and Condi Rice sitting over there?”

The bartender replies, “Yes, sir, it sure is.”

So the newcomer walks over to the pair, saying, “Wow, this is a real honor. What are you two doing in here?”

Bush answers, “We’re planning World War III.”

And the customer asks, “Really? What’s going to happen?”

Bush replies, “Well, we’re going to kill 10 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big breasts.”

The customer exclaims, “A blonde with big breasts?” “Why would you kill a blonde with big breasts?”

Bush turns to Rice, saying, “See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis!”

*****

Blonde in First Class

A commercial airplane is en route to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

A flight attendant sees her switch seats, so she politely informs the woman that she must return to economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful. I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here.”

Repeated attempts by the flight attendant prove unsuccessful at convincing the blonde to move. The attendant enters the cockpit to inform the pilot and co-pilot about the situation.

The co-pilot goes to first class to talk to the woman and also explains why she must move. Once again the woman replies, “I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful. I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here.”

After returning to the cockpit the co-pilot suggests that they should have the police arrest the woman when they land.

The pilot replies, “Wait a minute! You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde, so I speak blonde fluently.”

The pilot leaves the cockpit going back to the blonde illegally sitting in first class and whispers quietly into her ear.

She says, “Oh, no! I’m sorry.” Then she quickly and quietly returns to her seat in the economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask the pilot what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

The pilot replies, “I told her first class isn’t going to Detroit.”

*****

One Blonde To Another

A blonde was having major financial difficulties, so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.

She went to a local park and grabbed a small boy taking him behind a tree. Then she wrote the following note: “I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money.”

“Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the old oak tree in the park at 7 AM sharp.” It was signed, “The Blonde.”

The blonde pinned the note inside the lad’s jacket and then told him to go straight home.

The very next morning, the blonde returned to the park at exactly 7:01 AM. She found the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the old oak tree, exactly as she had instructed.

Inside the bag she found the following note: “Here is your money, but I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another.”

*****

And, of course, we couldn’t quit without a blonde video:

More Blonde Humor
More Video Humor

A Few Blonde Jokes and a Blonde Video

Here are a few blonde jokes to brighten your day and a blonde video too.

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to change her hair color to brunette. Once she had brown hair, she decided to take a relaxing drive in the country.

After driving through a rural area for a while, she saw a farmer with a flock of sheep and thought, “Oh! Those sheep are just adorable!”

The blonde pulled over to the side of the road, got out of her car and walked over to the farmer asking him, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”

The farmer was a bit of a gambler, so he agreed to go along with the bet.

The blonde looked at the flock for a few moments then guessed, “157.”

“Wow!” said the amazed farmer. She was right, hitting the exact number right on the head!

So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette, remember), picked one out, put it into the back seat of her car and prepared to leave.

But before she could go, the farmer walked up to her car and asked, “If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”

*****

Okay, she wasn’t too smart, but at least she was cute.

*****

A gorgeous blonde was at a pizza shop picking up her pizza order when the clerk asked if she wanted it cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Six, please,” she replied. “I could never eat twelve.”

*****

A blonde walked into the library, stormed up to the front desk and said, “I have a complaint!”

“Yes, Ma’am?” said the startled librarian peering up at her.

“I borrowed a book last week and it was just horrible!”

The puzzled librarian asked “Well, what was wrong with it?”

“It had way too many characters and absolutely no plot whatsoever!” stated the blonde.

“Ahh!” Nodded the librarian. “You must be the person who took our phone book.”

More Blonde Humor

Drunk and Not-So-Dumb Blonde Humor

A drunk and a blonde are sitting next to each other on an airplane. The drunk asks the blonde if she would like to play a game.

The blonde, who is tired and really just wants to take a nap, politely declines to participate and rolls over toward the window to go to sleep.

The drunk persists, explaining how the game works. “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me. If you ask me a question that I don’t know the answer to, I will pay you.”

The blonde again declines politely still hoping to get some sleep.

The drunk, figuring that he will easily win because his opponent is a blonde, increases the attractiveness of his offer. “If you don’t know the answer to my question, you only pay me $5, but if I don’t know the answer to your question, then I will pay you $500.”

The blonde figures the drunk will continue tormenting her unless she plays, so she reluctantly agrees.

The drunk asks the first question, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde reaches into her purse, removes a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the drunk. Then she asks the drunk, “What goes up a hill with three legs, but comes down with four?”

The drunk is puzzled. He uses his laptop to search for references, taps into the plane’s air-phone with his modem and even searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he tries emailing his coworkers, family and friends with no luck. After about an hour, he finally gives up.

He wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde takes the $500, then turns back to the window to get back to sleep.

The drunk is going nuts still trying to figure it out. He wakes the blonde asking, “Well, tell me, what goes up a hill with three legs but comes down with four?”

The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the drunk $5, then goes back to sleep.

More Blonde Jokes…

More Drunk Jokes…

Dumb Blonde at a Gas Station Joke

A blonde drives into a gas station and asks for a “710.”

All the male employees exchange puzzling looks at each other. Finally, one of them can not stand the embarrassment of not knowing what she is talking about and asks, “Lady, what’s a 710?”

The woman answers “Come on, you know…It’s that thingy that’s located around the middle of the engine. I must have lost mine and now I need a new one right away.”

“Well, what is this 710 for? What does it do?” another mechanic asks, admittedly embarrassed that he doesn’t know.

“Well guys…I don’t know exactly it does, but I do know that it is located in the middle of the engine,” the woman replies.

Everyone is completely puzzled, and none of them can understand what she is talking about. They all feel very awkward because they feel that men should know about the workings of a car’s engine.

The first mechanic has no other choice than to give her a pen and paper and asks her to draw what it is that she is looking for.

The lady starts drawing a circle about three inches in diameter and then writes “710” in the center of that circle.

When the mechanics look at what she drew it all finally makes sense to them:


More Blonde humor…

Alligator and Blonde Bar Joke

A guy goes into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He hoists his alligator up on the bar, turns to the bar’s patrons and says, “Ladies and gents, let me make you an offer. I will open this alligator’s mouth and put my private parts inside. Then gator here will close his mouth for one minute. After that, he will open his mouth, and I will remove myself unscathed.”

“And in return for being such a daredevil, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd murmurs its approval.

The man stands up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his unit in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closes his mouth and a loud gasp emerges from the crowd.

After one minute, the man, grabbing a beer bottle, raps the gator hard on the top of it’s head. The alligator opens his mouth, after which the man removes himself completely unscathed as promised. The crowd cheers and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

The man stands up once again making another offer, “I will pay $100 to anyone who is willing to give it a try.”

A hush falls over the crowd. After a short pause, a hand rises up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly says, “I’ll try it, but only if you promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle to get me to open my mouth.”

–Thanks to http://www.kaitaia.com/

Redneck Elevator

A redneck family from rural Alabama was shopping at a mall in the big city. It was their first time in a mall, so they were experiencing culture shock big time. The father and son decided to stroll around as the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but two shiny, silver walls that would silently move apart and then slide back together again especially caught their attention.

The boy asked, “Pa, What’s ‘dat?”

Pa (who had never seen an elevator) replied, “I Dunno, son. I ain’t never seen nuttin’ like ‘dat in my whole dang life. I ain’t got no idea’r what it ’tis.”

Then, while the two stared in amazement, an enormously overweight, frumpy, older lady waddled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. Once the walls opened, she waddled between them into a tiny room. After the walls closed again, the two watched the little numbers above the walls light up in sequence. They watched as the top number finally lit up. Then, they watched, as the small lights began to work their way back down.

When the walls opened again, out stepped a beautiful, curvy, 20-year-old blonde in a tight fitting, skimpy, little dress.

Quietly, still watching the gorgeous young woman, the Pa said to his son, “Boy . . . go . . . git . . . yo . . . Momma.”

More Redneck Humor…