Category Archives: jail

The Shadow – The Deathhouse Rescue 1937

Shadow_Death_From_NowhereThe radio show drama, The Shadow – The Deathhouse Rescue, which premiered on September 26, 1937, starred Orson Welles as Lamont Cranston, better known as The Shadow, and Agnes Moorhead as Margot Lane, Cranston’s constant companion and sidekick. (2)

The 1930s was a time when people needed to escape from reality because of the devastating effects of the Great Depression and the brutal antics Hitler was implementing in Germany and Europe. Escapism was the rule in all of the media including dime novels like The Shadow – Death from Nowhere (1) above left, movies and radio shows like The Shadow.

The Shadow character was described as a man with a genius level intellect who was in peak physical condition. He was a master detective, skilled marksman, martial artist, and a master of disguise and stealth. (2)

In this episode Cranston is tasked with clearing Paul Gordon’s name and rescuing him from his date with the electric chair. Can the Shadow accomplish the near impossible? I’m sure you already know the answer, but it is still fun to listen to him while he does it.

The Shadow always begins with “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.” Give a listen.

Editor’s note: If this media player is not visible in your browser, make sure that Javascript is enabled. If it is still not visible, please follow this link to listen to the show.

Naturally the good guy always wins. This is escapism after all, and the bad guys winning would be most depressing. The Shadow always ends with “The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay… The Shadow knows!” (2) Thank you, Shadow. I feel better already.

And remind me to order some Blue Coal anthracite for my furnace.

(1) “Shadow Death From Nowhere”. Via Wikipedia – Retrieved 6/24/2015.
(2) The Shadow. Wikipedia. Retrieved 6/24/2015.


MADD Goes after Kiefer Sutherland

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) is asking Ford Canada to fire Kiefer Sutherland as its celebrity spokesperson.

Sutherland is currently in jail serving a 48 day sentence after his third DUI conviction. Like so many other celebrities who have been living life on the edge, Sutherland has been working extra hard at playing life for all that it is worth.

So it is not surprising that MADD does not want Sutherland rewarded with a lucrative deal endorsing Ford vehicles to Canadians. MADD Canada president Margaret Miller has been urging Ford to chose a different celebrity to sell their vehicles.

MADD’s objections to Sutherland are, of course, his three DUIs and his infamous video from last Christmas where he attacked a Christmas tree in a hotel. He was reportedly a bit inebriated at the time of the tree attack according to media sources.

Sutherland was pulled over by police on September 25th after exiting a Hollywood party. At the time, he was on probation from a DUI in 2004. Plus, he was convicted of alcohol-related reckless driving back in 1993.

Andrew Murie, CEO of Mothers Against Drunk Driving Canada, said that “literally, there’s (sic) thousands of people out there that meet the moral standards of our society today that would love to have that kind of endorsement contract and they should be honored for their ethical behavior.”

The video showing the Canadian actor attacking the tree is below.

However, Ford Canada is having none of it. Ford Canada spokesperson Gina Gellert confirmed that Ford has no intention of removing Sutherland, although she admitted that Ford will continue to monitor Sutherland’s behavior.

As for Sutherland, he seems to have adjusted well to prison life and spent his first day in the slammer folding laundry. “He’s not happy to be here, but you can tell from his demeanor that he’s sorry and takes responsibility for what’s he’s done,” said Glendale City Jail spokesman John Balian.

Sutherland also received 60 months probation as part of his sentence, must pay a $510 fine, complete an 18-month alcohol-education class and attend weekly alcohol-therapy sessions for a six month period.

Lindsay Lohan Serves Hard Time – 84 Minutes Worth

Linday Lohan went to LA County jail on Thursday to serve time for her seven misdemeanor counts relating to two drunken driving charges. Because of a plea agreement that she made in August, Lindsay was sentenced to serve one day in jail.

The 21-year-old Lindsay checked in at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California at 10:30 AM. Just 84 minutes later, at 11:54 AM, she was released because the overcrowded LA jail system allows early release for non-violent offenders to make room for the hard core offenders–like Paris Hilton, who had to spend 23 days in the slammer earlier this year.

According to People magazine, a prison spokesperson said, “Lindsay was fingerprinted, photographed, and put in a holding cell, but was let go due to our early release policy.”

Was Lindsay given special treatment? “Absolutely not,” said spokesperson Steve Whitmore. “This is what we do for mostly everybody in this position. In fact, 30 to 50 women are granted early releases from the facility every day.”

For more complete information on Lindsay’s charges see our sister site at McCafferty’s Pub.

Now Lindsay can return to the more important things in life that she is so good at, like partying.

More Lindsay Lohan

Paris Jail Release Photos

Here are some photos I found at different sites on the net of Paris Hilton being released from jail. Look at them now, because the lawyers will probably be yelling to take them down due to copyright issues.

This 26-year-old socialite looks pretty happy to be free at this point. Here is Paris as she walks out of the jail house.

What I have noticed is that a whole lot of people are pretty mad at all of the publicity that Paris has been getting for being a bad girl.

The younger folks just do not know that this is how it is in this world. And this is how it has always been.

Paris Hilton is probably the most famous person in the world today, and it is not because she has accomplished anything in her young life.

She is a 26-year-old lily white porn star who was a nobody until she exposed herself to the world with an x-rated Internet video.

Before that she was nothing but a spoiled rich girl.

Now she’s a spoiled little rich girl who’s been to prison–for 23 days. Big deal!

Here is what Forbes and the in Great Britain said Paris has earned in recent years:

2003-2004: $2 million.

2004-2005: $6.5 million.

2005-2006: $7 million.

Does anybody want to guess what she will make in the rest of 2007? I think it will be a whole lot more than that.

Hugging her mom Kathy Hilton

All because of a DUI and driving with a suspended license.

A DUI costs normal everyday people a small fortune in lawyers’ fees and court costs, and high auto insurance fees.

Paris is turning 23 days in the slammer into a bonanza.

Paris and Mom, Kathy, in their SUV

Just think of what may happen now. She begins with the Larry King show. After that she will obviously have offers for public appearances, movies, videos, musical appearances.

It doesn’t matter if she has any talent or not. She is a household name now, and that sells. People will tune in just to see Paris, the poor little rich girl porn star turned parolee.

They say in Hollywood that any publicity is good publicity. Well, now we will see if that is true.

If Paris’ career skyrockets from this point onward, those 23 days in the cooler will be time well spent.

It is quite likely that she will make a whole lot more than the $7 million she made last year. But, of course, to her it is not the money because she has all of the money that she needs.

Pairs seems to need to be wanted and loved, and, sadly, this will bring some of that to her in the form of fan worship.

Think there are enough paparazzi?

To top it all off. She is going to have to live in this dump in Bel-Air.

Poor little rich girl!

Paris Hilton Graffiti…

More Paris Hilton watching…

We have Lindsay Lohan too…

How about Britney Spears?

Paris Prison Release Tuesday

Paris Hilton is scheduled to be released from prison on Tuesday, June 26th, the early release will be her reward for her good behavior while incarcerated.

It was originally reported by “The New York Post” that Paris had landed a one million dollar payday for an NBC Today show interview after her release, however, NBC has denied this rumor. She was also rumored to be scheduled to be interviewed by Barbara Walters of ABC, but ABC has also denied that report.

It is certainly possible that the two networks were competing for the first post prison Paris Hilton interview but then backed off because of negative public reaction. ABC News and Reuters are reporting that all three major networks are denying that any one of them intended to interview our favorite Parisian; however, it is more likely that they were simply testing the waters to gauge public reaction to the concept.

When public reaction turned negative toward a celebration of her release from the cooler, the networks probably thought better of their plan to reward Paris and her Parasites (supporters) with even greater media attention. It is very likely, however, that Paris will be able to turn this jail time into a hefty payday. Her name is now a household word, and dollars usually follow celebrity in the good old USA. A smaller media entity will probably make the jump to touting Paris’ release with an interview or TV show of some sort. As long as the payoff is under a million dollars and they are discrete about the affair, the uproar might be kept to a minimum.

The Washington Post” reported on Saturday that “People” magazine confirmed that it has cut a deal with Getty Images for first photos of Paris’ release. “The New York Post” has reported that deal could be worth as much as $300,000.

In an issue related to Paris’ prison release, the international liquor consumption rankings were recently released. The USA wound up in 40th place internationally when it comes to liquor consumption. The US used to be in first place in past years, and for years drank in the kudos for being the king of consumption. However, it is rumored that the US might once again regain its old world ranking title once Paris Hilton is released from slammer and Lindsay Lohan finds her way out of rehab.

LA nightclubs have been hurting for business since the two celebrities were forced out of the nightclub scene. Layoffs and grumbling have been the mainstay at most joints. The duos’ release should add a bit to the morale of an industry that was recently ailing. Then, with those two at the helm of our ship, we should be able to again bring the USA to a position of prominence within the liquor consumption rankings.

More Paris Hilton Humor…

Try Paris Hilton Graffiti…

More Lindsay Lohan humor…

Paris Hilton In Jail Photo?

Is this the first photo of Paris Hilton in her jail cell?

No, this is merely an artist’s rendition of what Paris might look like in her new surroundings.

But if there is any truth to what was reported at, Paris does not look so smug right now. is reporting that “Paris is scared,” and that she “has been crying on the phone, saying she’s not sleeping or eating.”

Paris reportedly has said that her cell is “freezing cold.” She has three small blankets and no pillow, and she is using one of the blankets as a pillow.

CBS news is reporting that LA authorities whizzed Paris through her enrollment process in one hour, as opposed to the 24 hours it normally takes, while a bail bondsman reported that some of the other inmates were taunting Paris for the special treatment she was receiving.

David Letterman said that Paris is surrounded by drug dealers and sexual predators, which is pretty much just like she is on the outside.

Letterman also said that they are already making a movie about Paris in Jail. It’s called the “Bird brain of Alcatraz.”

CBS news is also reporting that Pairs did not have to go through the strip search or the cavity search. She did not have to “spread ’em.”

But, isn’t that where her talents lie? Isn’t that just like the government? They put you in jail and then don’t let you use your God given abilities.

Letterman said the only time she’s said “That’s hot!” is during the strip search.

More Paris Hilton Humor…

More David Letterman Humor…

Paris Hilton Mug Shot

Our favorite Parisian, Paris Hilton, has entered jail two days early to get a head start on her rehabilitation. The Los Angeles police released her mug shot, which is to the left.

I will have to admit that hers is probably the best mug shot I have ever seen. There is no doubt that Paris has what it takes in that regard.

Paris entered jail on Sunday, June 3rd, at 11:30 PM after working at the MTV TV movie awards on Sunday afternoon. She obviously was looking forward to her confinement and simply could not wait until June 5th.

The media have reported that Paris is being housed in the Los Angeles jail’s special needs unit, which has reportedly angered some of the other prisoners. It seems that some of them think dear Paris is receiving special treatment.

Could it be possible that the government gives billionaire heiresses special treatment? Well, duh! How can anyone believe that money doesn’t buy special treatment? This is America, after all, and money rules our world.

It is also said that Warner Bros, the company that handles her recording albums, has dropped her. She has also reportedly lost some revenue as a spokesperson for a sportswear company.

When it rains it pours.

More Paris Hilton Humor…

Paris Watching

Poor Paris Hilton has decided to forego any appeal of her conviction of driving with a suspended license according to recent news reports. She has been scheduled to enter jail on June 5th, and some reports suggest that the billionaire heiress intends to report to the big house even earlier than that.

Those in the know claim that her sentence could be reduced to 23 days from the 45 days that she was sentenced to because of time off for good behavior. Of course, Paris may intend to behave properly once she enters the slammer, but, the real question is: Can a leopard change its spots?

Paris has not really behaved all that well outside of prison, so why does she think she will suddenly be capable of behaving any better inside? There may be other influences on the inside that intend to bait poor Paris into behaving badly just to ensure that the heiress spends the full 45 days of her sentence in the cooler. There are not that many folks doing time who have your charitable Christian attitude towards others. It would only take one sociopath to pick a fight with poor Paris, thereby making sure she remain incarcerated for the full 45 days.

However, one can also be sure that a substantial chunk of the Hilton fortune is now being spent to pave Paris’ path toward the straight and narrow. Her lawyers are probably busy hiring a few protectors to look out for her while she visits the County’s Century Regional Detention Facility for her government sponsored rehabilitation. Those knightly types may well be both on the government payroll as staff at the county facility and others who are, themselves, spending time there involuntarily.

The media have reported that this particular government facility houses inmates (doesn’t that sound good? Paris Hilton: inmate) in two bed cells. That means that poor Paris will have a roommate. Imagine the payroll that lucky stiff will get to take proper care of Paris while she is housed at county expense.

It must be so nice to have the kind of spare change that enables you to influence people so readily. But that is a status that this second generation son of Irish immigrants can only imagine in his dreams. As a common working stiff, all the extra cash coming in goes right back out to afford life’s basics.

Here is to June 5th. It promises to be an eventful time that could entertain us common folk considerably. It isn’t that often that celebrities are convicted of anything in California any more, and that makes Paris watching all the more enjoyable these days.

Copyright 2007. All rights reserved. Seamus McCafferty.

More Paris Hilton watching…

Is Paris Hilton Tough Enough for Jail?

Well, it is time we dumped a little more on poor Paris Hilton, the billionaire heiress who is scheduled to enter jail on June 5th to serve a 45 day sentence for driving her Bentley with a suspended license.

Of course, any young woman who is as pretty as Paris is had better be prepared for the rigors of the big house. She certainly wants to avoid a situation where she cannot take care of herself in a confrontation with one of the tougher inmates.

Along that line, we have been well assured that there is no truth to the rumor that Paris attempted to obtain shower fight tips from Martha Stewart, another well connected billionaire, who was forced to suffer the indignities of living among the more common folk on a federal government sponsored incarceration. Paris still has time to learn the basics of survival from a self-defense instructor before June 5th, but she better not dally.

If there is any truth to the rumors of what goes in one of those institutions, Paris could be in for a rough ride.

It has also been said that Paris sought permission to videotape her conjugal visits. Imagine what that would do to her bad girl image if those tapes surfaced on the Internet. Or imagine the price a couple of convicts could get if they taped having their way with Paris. That would draw a pretty penny on some of the tabloid shows. Something like that could bring in something in the six figure range, and it wouldn’t hurt Paris’ image much either. Headlines that scream “bad girl is treated In a very bad way by some ‘bad’ inmates.” It is even possible that Paris’s publicist dreamt this whole event up so that the bad Paris Hilton suddenly would seem like a victim at the hands of a more vicious group.

But, of course, Paris could be-friend one of the tougher guards in order to enlist the services of a protector of the weak. She could easily afford to change the lifestyle of someone who went out of his way to watch out for her. You can bet that some in the media have been trying to buy their way into getting some photos or videos of her life in the penitentiary. Paris will need guards on her side just to fight off the prison paparazzi, who may go to extraordinary lengths to get the photo shots that will sell for the big bucks.

Just think of the publicity that this situation might develop. On one side you have the photo hungry media that would devour and quickly blow out of proportion any photos that might emerge from Paris’ prison exploits. Paris’ publicity people must be prepared to spin anything that surfaces from this incarceration situation.

The next few weeks may be very interesting as each side prepares its lines of defense and offense.

More Paris Hilton Watching…