Here is a handful of humorous quotes:
Bill Maher: CNN, to mark the fifth anniversary of 9/11, is going to be re-playing their original coverage of that day. Let’s just hope that President Bush doesn’t tune in and go, “Oh my God, they’ve done it again!.”
Chico Marx: Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?
Homer Simpson: Just once, I wish someone would call me “sir” without adding, “you’re making a scene.”
Jeff Foxworthy: Being a designated driver is not a desirable job. If you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.