Category Archives: comedy

Kick the Crap Out of Bullies

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This photo tells you all you need to know about my feelings about bullies. Kick the crap out of them. It’s that simple.

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Sociopathic Crow, Naive Kitty – Videos

Have you ever noticed how clever some crows seem to be? I have seen some of them in my neighborhood make some remarkably clever moves, including two or three of them ganging up together to chase a squirrel. I do not think they even cared if they caught the squirrel or not, but it appeared like they only wanted to antagonize the poor thing.

The crow in our first video is just that sort of sociopathic creature that wants to create misery for others:

Yep! That is the kind of crow I’m talking about. The dog, whose name is Nero BTW, thought that the crow would go away if Nero ignored him. No such luck, Nero. This crow is a troublemaker, and once Nero goes home, the crow will find some other prey to pick on. He is just that sort of creature.

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The second video also presents us with another predator type who wants to create mischief for other animals, but this naive kitty does not realize how quickly his role as predator might be reversed and suddenly he has become the prey.

That is one unworldly putty-tat. One swipe of the that gator’s huge tail or a twist of those vicious jaws and it’s sayonara Miss Kitty Cat.

Perhaps the photographer in this vid does not care too much about his cat. Why else would he let the creature put itself in harm’s way, unless he was secretly hoping he might get a video for YouTube in which a gator swallows a cat in one gulp?

A video like that just might go viral in a hurry creating a windfall of cash for a videographer participating in YouTube’s ad program. Yep! Methinks there is both motive and method to that madness.

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A Passel of Redneck Graffiti

Here lies a passel of Redneck graffiti for your perusal and intellectual edification. It seems that certain redneck types have scrawled their opinions and diatribes on vacant building walls merely to express themselves for your cerebral enlightenment. Lucky you.

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I cannot imagine why Osama bin Laden would ever hate country music. I mean, Shania Twain…Carrie Underwood…Hello!? Need I say more? That is probably as good of a reason to join the Marines as any, but perhaps Joe Bob doesn’t know Osama is no longer with us. If so, he may be slightly annoyed once he learns the truth.

So it seems that Bubba is a patron of the “Midnight Golf Supply.” Guess a fella has to save nickels and dimes wherever he can. But isn’t that red stripe around your ball a mite embarrassing once you are back in the clubhouse?

I can understand Joe Bob loading up on fresh “toys” when he visits the dump. One man’s trash IS another man’s treasure, after all.

And Billy Ray’s sis and stepmom being one and the same person is no fault of Billy Ray. Since when can we control who Daddy marries? Daddy always did have a mind of his own.

Billy Bob meeting girls at family reunions just makes a whole lot of sense. Why not keep it all in the family?

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Joe Bob’s sister really isn’t that trashy. Lots of girls wear a see thru blouse at their Momma’s funeral.

As for Bubba disappearing with his double wide to avert foreclosure, my understanding is that his bank hid a Lojack device on the trailer in the event of just such an occurrence. Sorry Bubba.

There was no chance of the fire in Billy Bob’s bathroom spreading to the house. Billy Bob deliberately placed his outhouse a ways off to avoid any odor issues wafting toward the house. That’s planning ahead Billy Bob.

And Jim Bob buying sushi at the bait shop just plain makes sense. A fella just has to save money when he can. Besides the bait shop has a recipe for pickled minnows that is just special.

Airplane or no airplane, Betty Lu has always been particular about her doo. Can’t see that changing any time soon.

Crack and plumber’s butt are just plain embarrassing. If you got it all hangin’ out on the backside, you ain’t no self respecting redneck. That is fer shur.

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And Baby Makes…One Too Many?—Viral Video

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In the original video on YouTube that went viral in one big hurry, this little man goes ballistic when mom tells him he will soon have a little brother or sister to help take care of.

It seems that there is no telling what some folks’ attitudes will be on any subject. “This is exasperating!” and “it doesn’t make no sense!”

 

Get fit with the Goose Step Master

This is an updating of a post previously published 7/16/2011.

Ah, mein herr! Remember all of those infomercials you have seen on late night and weekend TV coaxing you to buy this or that device to tone up your body? The ab this or that or the thigh buster, master or whatever?

Well, forget them all because The Goose Step Master has arrived on the scene just in the nick of time to help you hone your body so you can become the perfect you.

“As Seen in the War!”

Ever watch videos of World War II to see the German or Russian soldiers goose step down the promenade?

Eine, Zwei, Drei, Vier!—One, Two, Three, Four!

You must be in good shape to keep up with those Nazi soldiers or their Russian counterparts as they flawlessly goose step down the avenue. You won’t see any slackers doing the goose step, that’s for sure. Naturally you neither admire nor share the Nazi philosophy, but you certainly must respect the German soldiers’ physical ability to goose step down the promenade with nary a misstep.

You must be in excellent physical shape to march so vigorously for long uninterrupted periods.

“Be as Fit as the Nazi SS”

Now you can be as fit as the dreaded Nazi Waffen SS soldiers with our patented Goose Step Master. Order our Goose Step Master now and we will include a free workout video showing how those Nasty Nazis learned to master the goose step.

The Germans may not have won the war, but they certainly were losers who were in the best of shape. Perhaps they’ll do better in World War III?

Yes! You can get as fit as the Luftwaffe in the privacy of your own home. For a limited time, if you are one of the first 3.9  million to order, you will also receive a CD of the inspirational “Luftwaffe March.” If ever there was a song to go off to war to, it was the “Luftwaffe March.”

Our double action, calorie bursting, thigh thinning Goose Step Master can be used in the tranquil quietude  of your own peaceful abode. No more noisy athletic clubs with exorbitant monthly fees for you. No more hurrying to the gym after work. Use the butt busting Goose Step Master whenever and whereever you want.

Click the play button on the following podcast to listen to the inspirational Luftwaffe March as you read more about our Goosestep Master.

 

Free autographed photo of Sergeant Schultz

Now, for only the first 15.6 million responses, we will include a free autographed photo of the notorious but lovable Sergeant Schultz, as seen on the popular Hogan’s Heroes TV show.

“I know nothing!”

Sergeant Schultz was one of the most popular Nazis of all time, either before or after the war.

Have you ever noticed that Schultz’s initials were S.S. (Sergeant Schultz) as in Nazi Waffen SS? Coincidence? We don’t think so.

Not $599

Not $399

If you order our patented Goosestep Master now without delay you won’t pay $599…you won’t pay $399. Order right now and the patented Goosestep Master is yours for only 99 weekly payments of just $17.99, plus a modest shipping and handling fee of $99.98. 

You will also receive at no extra cost to you our very own Goosestep Master workout video, which displays workout secrets of Nazi Stormtroopers among many others.  Don’t forget that we will also include a CD of the inspirational “Luftwaffe March” for the first 3.9 million orders received.

If that isn’t enough remember that the first 15.6 million responses will also receive signed photos of the affable Sergeant Schultz from the Hogan’s Heroes TV series at no extra cost to you. That means it’s free ladies and gents.

Order now…order today…order quickly without delay…and we will send you our patented Goosestep Master via overnight delivery for a mere additional special handling fee of $49.99. That means you could be working out on you very own patented Goosestep Master in the quiet confines of your own home by this time tomorrow.

Now is the time to avoid buyer’s remorse before all of our 98 million patented Goosestep Masters are sold, so hurry and order today to prevent possible future disappointment!

Special One Time Offer!

Because we still have a few Goose Step Masters remaining in stock (specifically 97,999,998 of ’em as of January, 2014) we are now offering three Goose Step Masters for the price of two. That’s right ladies and gents, buy two Goose Step Masters for the regular price and get a third Goose Step Master FREE!

Wow! Be sure to order as soon as possible before the rest of our 97.999 million Goose Step Masters are gone. Order yours today!

Offer is void in Pierre, South Dakota, or wherever sales of Nazi memorabilia is prohibited.

Painfully Cute Joey Powling Jr

This ridiculously cute pic of Joey Powling Jr has gone viral, and you can understand why. Poor little Joey! I have the same scar from heart surgery so I can empathize with lil’ Joe. Hope he’s not in too much pain.

A real pic of New york from outer space on 911. Amazing!

Elephant Clobbers Tourist – Video

Wow! This elephant obviously does not appreciate a young tourist feeding him and simply clobbers the young guy with its trunk.

Interacting with the elephant did appear safe initially, but look how quickly the pachyderm turned on the unfortunate tourist. Prudence dictates keeping a safe distance from any beast that outweighs you by a few thousand pounds.

This guy will never forget his encounter with an elephant. And you thought elephants had a long memory.

Joe Kapp and Angelo Mosca Start Fist Fight at CFL Luncheon

Joe Kapp Lands a Right to Angelo Mosca’s Jaw

Joe Kapp, 73, a former NFL quarterback with the Minnesota Vikings, and Angelo Mosca, 74, a former CFL defensive lineman and a former professional wrestler under the names of King Kong Mosca and the Mighty Hercules, got into a fist fight at a recent CFL Grey Cup luncheon in Vancouver, Canada.

Kapp and Mosca hold a grudge against each other for a hit Mosca landed on one of Kapp’s teammates 48 years ago. Talk about holding a grudge!

Here is a video of the actual fight as it occurred:

The two septuagenarians have held grudges against each other since the 1963 Grey Cup, which is the CFL’s version of a Canadian Super Bowl.  In the 1963 game, Mosca laid out Kapp’s teammate, Willie Fleming, with a controversial hit, knocking Fleming out of the game. Now, nearly 50 years later, the two still do not get along.

You would think two seventy somethings would have gotten all of the fist fighting out of their systems by now, but not these two.

The Grey Cup luncheon, where the fight occurred, had a goal of raising money for retired CFL players, so it is possible that the altercation might not have been entirely spontaneous. After all the incident did reach news outlets all across North America.

Comedian Ron James, the luncheon’s host, insists that the fight was not staged; however, it would be interesting to learn how much money the event raised for its cause.

Who Knew Riding a Bicycle Could be so Funny?

Even if you have been to over 100 airports, you have probably never seen anyone ride a bicycle inside one. Plus it is guaranteed that you have never seen anyone ride a bicycle there in such a funny fashion.

Check out how these creative folks take the boredom out of a long trip to the airport:

It seems that some clever Estonian folks thought of this while in the Prague airport. Unfortunately, if they did that in the United States they would be strip searched, arrested, and imprisoned for life for terroristic activities. It’s not the best of times in the US these days. Prague, on the other hand, is not so bad.

Funny Dogs and More Funny Dogs!

We ran into this older video on the web, but we just had to include it here because in our minds it is really funny–especially if you like animal videos. And we certainly do. Like we said, it is older, it is anything but hi-def, but it has some very funny scenes.

Give a Look:

Man Struck by Lightning Caught on Video

A man is struck by lightning and it is all caught on video. What part of the world this happened is unknown. The video is hosted on YouTube and the only words accompanying it are: “Vo cabeceia raio.”

Trying to translate that phrase on several translation sites got us no where, and that includes Google’s translator which translates from nearly 60 languages.

Google also provides a language detector, which stated it is Galician and means: “Ray nods vo.” The only other language that came close is Portuguese, and the translation is the same: “Ray nods vo.”

In Catalan it is translated to: “Vo pitch rayon.” In Galician it can also mean: “Lightning nods see you.”

However, since “raio” can mean “lightning” in Portuguese, I am going with that.

In any event this poor guy really got whopped but good, and it is amazing that he was even able to rise after suffering through such a thunderous bolt of lightning.

Prez Obama Makes Fun of Donald Trump – Video

President Barack Obama made fun of Donald Trump, the chief birther, and others, at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner. The president had prepared his “official birth video” mocking his early childhood in Africa, which the President jokingly explained to the FOX News table, “that was a joke.”

The video is quite long, but there are quite a few very good jokes done at the expense of the Donald and other politicians:

“Drunk” Baby Trashes Bar – Video

A baby who appears to have had too many margaritas trashes a make believe bar in Las Palmas. Behaving like so many other out of control drunks, the baby steals food and drink from another patron’s table and falls down drunk smashing a chair and a table in the process.

The “bar” is really a tiny size set for a movie, and the “patrons” are actually puppets on a string. Our video is really a trailer for an upcoming short film, Las Palmas.

The baby is real however, and the film is the brainstorm of Johannes Nyholm, who is a 37-year-old Swedish director with a lot of imagination. His other shorts can be found at http://www.youtube.com/user/johannesnyholm#p/a/u/2/yedD4JsZyT0.

This imaginative video has quickly gone viral on YouTube with about 7 million views.

 

Baby Twins Talk in Funny, Animated Conversation – Viral Video

Two baby twins are caught in the act of conversing with each other in a pleasantly animated fashion. It is hard to believe that these two do not understand at least some of what they are saying to each other.

Make no mistake about it, each is intent upon conversing with the other twin. Their arm and foot gestures are so believable that this vid has gone viral in a very short amount of time with over 23 million views in less than three months.

Well, those two certainly convinced me. I am not sure what point they were trying to make, but I believe that they believe it.

Illegal Parking in Russia – Video

It is said that these cars were parked illegally in Russia, but I would hope there is more to it than that. If this video is legitimate, then someone somewhere has too much power to be able to do this.

But that is no surprise in our world today. Lots of folks have too much power and abuse it frequently.

This is certainly a waste of a couple of nice cars.

Pandas Live the Good Life – Video

It really doesn’t matter where these pandas are at. What matters is that they are living the good life–just lying around, having a ball and looking good while doing it.

But for those of you who really want to know where such major cuteness resides, it’s Zoo Atlanta, where management proudly announced the public debut of their newest giant panda, Po, along with his mother Xi Lan and older brother Lun Lun. And yes! The cuteness all comes naturally.

It doesn’t get any better than this. Ah! The Good Life!