Category Archives: poopy

Redneck Playground or Your Kid is Elephant Poopy


Safety is of paramount importance when designing anything children will use. There can be no parts that will pinch tiny fingers; in no way can any of the equipment or parts of the equipment tip over; and harmful substances such as lead paint or or any parts small enough to swallow simply are not allowed.

But our redneck playground designer must have skipped school the day his professor discussed appropriateness of theme, because something is wrong when your kids return home from the playground crying and telling you the other kids teased them and called them elephant poopy.

“Peter, Peter is elephant poopy. Emily smells like elephant poop. Nah-nah nah nah-nah!”

I don’t know about you but hearing that my kids are being compared to elephant poop worries me that it may create an identity crisis in the four-year-old mind. That sort of nick name may tend to linger longer than one might like not unlike the odor of pachyderm poop.

“…I don’t smell like elephant poopy, do I Daddy?”

One must reassure four-year-olds about enough other things in life without having to add elephant poopy to the list.

“Peter, the sky is blue because God painted it that color when he had left over paint from painting his living room. And no you do not smell like elephant poopy. Your mom makes you take lots of baths so you will only smell like a clean little boy.”

Perhaps an elephant slide such as this one is not an issue in the Redneck mind because four-year-old Redneck little boys sometimes do smell like elephant poopy.