That Man Ain’t No Marlon Brando – Beware the Penguins!

Friends, I am here today to warn you of an impending disaster that is of such a perilous nature that no similar calamity has ever before seen the light of day. I am talking about a man-made catastrophe so dire and so dastardly that I shudder even to think of the pernicious consequences should this misdeed ever come to pass.

Folks, if you please, cast your gaze upon the first photograph in today’s post. Compare that, please, to the second photo. At first glance you might be fooled into thinking that the two photos are one and the same.

The photos are allegedly taken from a scene in the movie, The Godfather. In the background, you will notice one Sonny Corleone, played by actor James Caan. To the left is Bonasera, played by Salvatore Corsitto. To the right is supposed to be Vito Corleone, played by the great Marlon Brando.

However, the man in the first photo is no Marlon Brando!

Our third photo is a very short video of the same exact scene in the movie. Notice how the godfather’s gestures are the same classic moves that you see throughout the movie. That is Marlon Brando in the short film clip; of that, there is no doubt.

The man masquerading as Marlon Brando in the first photo is, in reality, a penguin! This woeful bird has infiltrated the ranks of Hollywood’s famous actors. And he is not alone.

Peruse, if you will, the fourth photograph and you will find one Penguin from the movie, Batman Returns. The Penguin in this film is played by actor Danny DeVito. Did you catch the similarity in names? Danny DeVito and Vito Corleone? That similarity is no coincidence.

Now compare the next photo, which juxtaposes the profiles of the Penguin from Batman Returns and the imposter Marlon Brando in the first photo. Notice the similarities?

Clearly, the actor in the first photo is also a penguin.

Ladies and gentlemen, the penguins are infiltrating the Hollywood movie industry at an alarming rate.

But, why you ask. Why would the penguins want to sneak into the film industry? What could be their motive?

To learn the answer to that, you must watch the short video. This video is a previously unreleased film taken from one of the United States’ secret spy satellites that fly high overhead, constantly circling the globe. These satellites are America’s watch dogs in the sky, and until now, this film has been classified “Top Secret.”.

The US Department of Homeland Security has declassified and released this short film to warn the American public of an imminent threat against our way of life. Please watch the short video now.

The video exposes an enormous gathering of Antarctic penguins in a joyous celebration of some sort. Now that you have seen the video, you know. The penguins are really Al Qaeda in disguise.

Al Qaeda has infiltrated the penguins, who have in turn penetrated the movie industry. The motive is obvious. Al Qaeda wants to steal the minds of America’s children by saturating the film industry with their saboteurs.

They have chosen penguins because penguins are so cute.

But, the last photo shows the true character of Al Qaeda in action. Clearly, their character is so anti-social that they must constantly fight–even among themselves, if that is the only adversary that they have to fight.

In the same manner that Al Qaeda steals the minds of Islamic youth throughout the madrasas of the Middle East in hopes of turning innocent children into suicide bombers, Al Qaeda now intends to brainwash America’s children.

By surreptitiously embedding their fanatical beliefs into the minds of America’s children through films, Al Qaeda aspires to turn our own children against us.

Al Qaeda believes that they can eventually take over America by stealing the minds of our youth at an early age. It is a menacing plot of the most drastic proportions.

We must stop this potentially devastating plan by protecting our children at all costs.

My friends, the time for action has come. We must not pause, and we must not falter because the fate of our children hangs in the balance.

Praise the Lord, pass the ammunition and beware of the penguins!

Funniest Photos of 2007

Here are links to some of my favorite photos from 2007. Most are funny photos, but a couple simply struck me as unique:

Redneck Penguins – People are not alone in embracing the redneck lifestyle. These two penguins rank right up there with their human counterparts. It may not seem like this is a photo, but it is animation, which is a series of images or photos, and that is why it is included here.

Dog Earred Monkey Business and Cat Nap – This photo touched people the world over and understandably so. Everyone loves a photo that touches the heart.

Redneck High School Reunion – Aah! The practical joke! The photographer who captured this moment should win an award for a photo that plants in the reader’s mind vivid anticipation of a moment coming soon.

Headless Redneck Businessman – How does the saying go? If you can keep your head when all others around you are losing theirs…

Alcoholic Elephants on the Rampage – A rampaging elephant is a sight to behold, but an alcoholic elephant on the rampage is rarer still…until lately. See why.

Creative Redneck Transportation – Here is a motorcycle unlike any other. What would possess your local redneck to manufacture a machine like this?

Funny Photos – These guys do not appear to be very conscientious as firemen go. Hopefully their attitude is a minority one.

Redneck Wireless Telephone Call – When you gotta go you gotta go, but you hate to miss an important phone call at the same time. Here is the solution.

Redneck Mercedes – Leave it to a redneck to degrade a classic vehicle like a Mercedes simply to enable viewing the world sideways.

More Funny Photos

Redneck Penguins

These two must both be rednecks to get along so well. The slap happy one on the right appears to exhibit that classic anti-social personality that seems to say “Oh yeah. I am redneck woman and this is my roar.” This little woman is scary. Give this girl an opportunity, and she will slap you into the next century.

It appears that she has had lots of practice keeping her Bubba in line because her movements are so silky smooth. Of course, timing is everything when it comes to antics like this. Flap that flipper just a moment too soon, and this gag could backfire big time. Then it might easily be redneck woman in the drink rather than The Bubba himself.

Naturally, Bubba does not see a thing coming. Listen carefully and you can nearly hear him blindly shout, “stand aside woman! Here I come.” Or should we say, there he went? His demeanor announces his arrival. Oddly enough, I don’t hear anybody announcing his departure.

But that is just as well. After an entrance so dramatically embarrassing, one would think he would prefer to quietly slip away rather than to draw attention to himself deliberately.

The real question here is what is redneck woman’s motivation? You know that she is going to get it when she and Bubba get home. She must be deeply motivated to risk both life and limb by deliberately antagonizing The Bubba.

Perhaps it is a simple tale of another redneck woman in the picture because that appears to be life’s continuing story.

Redneck meets woman. Redneck gets woman. Redneck cheats on woman. Redneck woman gets even.

It is an eternal scene in life, and even Shakespeare was not able to improve on it.

Note: The penguins should be moving. If they are not, you are probably on a slower Internet connection. Click F5 on your keyboard to reload, and that should get our penguins moving for you.

• More Redneck humor…
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• Animal Video Humor
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