Warrant Issued for Lindsay Lohan’s Arrest

Lindsay Lohan, the 22-year-old movie actor in films like Freaky Friday (2003) and Mean Girls (2004), had a warrant for her arrest issued on Friday.

Beverly Hills Police Department spokesman Lieutenant Mark Rosen said, “The $50,000 warrant issued by the Beverly Hills Superior Court stems from a May 2007 arrest of Miss Lohan for DUI and hit-and-run. The circumstances leading to the issuance of the warrant by the court are not readily available at this time. It is our hope that Miss Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter will be resolved in a timely manner.”

Shawn Chapman Holley, Lindsay’s attorney, said the warrant was a “misunderstanding.”

“Since her case was resolved, Ms. Lohan has been in compliance with all the terms and conditions of her probation and all orders of the court. The warrant issued on Friday was, in our view, born out of a misunderstanding which I am confident I can clear up next week,” said Holley.

“I spoke to her attorney this morning. The attorney believes it was just a miscommunication with the court,” said Lieutenant Rosen. “She hopes to resolve it in court this coming week. And I’m sure that if it’s not resolved in court that we’ll work out something with Ms. Lohan to voluntarily surrender.”

In May of 2007 Lohan was arrested for driving under the influence after losing control of her vehicle, which ended up on the curb. Police discovered cocaine in her car and subsequent lab tests confirmed that cocaine was also in her system.

Lindsay spent some time in rehab after that, but was arrested again for drunk driving on July 24, 2007. She pled guilty in August 2007, and was sentenced to one day in jail and placed on probation for three years. The one day in jail made headlines at the time since the “one day” ended up to be a total of only 84 minutes in jail because she was released early due to jail overcrowding.

The Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office has a hearing scheduled for 8:30 a.m. Monday morning, March 16, 2009, at a Beverly Hills courthouse.

Lindsay Lohan Serves Hard Time – 84 Minutes Worth
Lindsay Lohan’s Mercedes for Sale on Ebay
Is Lindsay Lohan Broke?

Alcoholic Elephants on the Rampage

This Sri Lankan elephant definitely appears to be ticked, as you can plainly see as he takes out his anger on this mini-bus. Sadly, elephants on the rampage like this are becoming a rather common phenomenon in Asia.

The situation plays something like this: Man encroaches on traditional pachyderm territory, so the elephants move further into the jungle to avoid contact with man. Well, you can hardly blame them for that, now can you?

The problem is that man has been encroaching on an ever increasing basis, and the elephants have fewer and fewer viable areas to retreat to.

But what has been setting the elephants off on rampages like the one in the following video is a combination of dwindling food supplies and plentiful rice beer. Farmers make huge batches of rice beer for personal consumption and for sale. As elephants venture into a village in search of food, they may happen upon a farmer’s rice beer still.

The elephants end up with too much of a good thing after chugging down the home brewed beer. Then, like some homo sapiens, they get mean and ornery once they are drunk. The result is what you see in the photo and the video.

Villagers all over Asia are concerned about the problem and have even tried to bring in outside animal experts to help them address the issue.

One of the experts has been Paris Hilton, who has not hesitated to express her opinion on the matter. To clarify matters for you, Paris knows nothing about elephants, but she does know quite a lot about imbibing to excess and is definitely an expert on that subject.

The media have been anxiously awaiting what remarkable words of wisdom Paris will utter to help all of Asia solve this tricky dilemma. So, Paris, what do we do with these alcoholic elephants?

“We need to stop making alcohol available to them,” said the 26-year-old starlet.

Wow! That is so simple it is profound. Obviously, no one else ever thought of that! Of course, it may take a while to locate a bouncer who is able to eighty six one of these husky fellas from any drinking establishment, let alone a homemade still. But we’ll advertise the position on Craig’s List to find the right job candidates.

From a more practical standpoint, what really needs to happen is to get those beer swigging pachyderms into rehab. Now this is a subject that Paris knows well. The plan would be to recruit Paris, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears to counsel these wayward beasts prevailing upon them to change their decadent ways and rehabilitate themselves into munificent members of jungle society.

Paris, LL and BS must convince the brutes that they owe it to society to become positive influences for social change.

Our three musketeers could set up an academy for wayward elephants in Asia in a manner similar to what Oprah Winfrey has done for gifted young girls in South Africa. This modern day celebrity version of Larry, Moe and Curly could get the elephants on a 12-step program that would revolutionize Asian jungle law.

No more elephant rampages in the night and no more swilling beer till all hours. The problem is almost solved already. And to think we owe all of this progress on the issue to our dear Paris.

When we first saw her Internet porn video way back when, we just knew that girl was meant for greatness.

• Drunk Videos, New Drunk Joke
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• Drunk Santa Like You’ve Never Seeen Him Before – Video
• Drunk Fails DUI Test – Video
• Drunk and Not-So-Dumb Blonde Humor

 

Lindsay Lohan Serves Hard Time – 84 Minutes Worth

Linday Lohan went to LA County jail on Thursday to serve time for her seven misdemeanor counts relating to two drunken driving charges. Because of a plea agreement that she made in August, Lindsay was sentenced to serve one day in jail.

The 21-year-old Lindsay checked in at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California at 10:30 AM. Just 84 minutes later, at 11:54 AM, she was released because the overcrowded LA jail system allows early release for non-violent offenders to make room for the hard core offenders–like Paris Hilton, who had to spend 23 days in the slammer earlier this year.

According to People magazine, a prison spokesperson said, “Lindsay was fingerprinted, photographed, and put in a holding cell, but was let go due to our early release policy.”

Was Lindsay given special treatment? “Absolutely not,” said spokesperson Steve Whitmore. “This is what we do for mostly everybody in this position. In fact, 30 to 50 women are granted early releases from the facility every day.”

For more complete information on Lindsay’s charges see our sister site at McCafferty’s Pub.

Now Lindsay can return to the more important things in life that she is so good at, like partying.

More Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan’s Mercedes for Sale on Ebay

The charcoal grey Mercedes that Lindsay Lohan drove into a palm tree in July during one of her famous Hollywood meltdowns is for sale on Ebay. An enterprising Texas auto dealer has repaired the 2005 Benz where Lindsay smashed in the left front fender.

Initial asking price is $110,000, and there is one bid at that price. However, the seller has an undisclosed reserve that has not been met, so this car will not sell that cheaply. It sold new for $217,420.

The 12 cylinder vehicle features 604 horsepower, so it is not surprising how Lindsay let this one get away from her and wrapped it around an LA palm tree.

The dealer probably vacuumed up enough cocaine that LL spilled on the carpeting to make a tidy profit even before selling the car.

Perez Hilton is reporting that Lindsay showed up for lunch with the bunch at The Ivy restaurant in LA, which is one of her old hangouts from when she was still using.

It must have been a visit for old times sake, but, naturally, the paparazzi were all over her. Maybe she just wanted some attention?

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Is Lindsay Lohan Broke?

Tablogs (tabloid type blogs) are reporting all over the Internet that Lindsay Lohan is broke after reportedly spending nearly $7 million on her late night partying lifestyle over the past few years.

Fametastic.co.uk is reporting that Lindsay spent $1 million alone last year renting a bungalow at Chateau Marmont Hotel, and that includes room service and hotel chauffeured limos.

Another million or so went for her designer wardrobe and hairstyles. Then, of course, there is the cost of cocaine. Even Lindsay reportedly has admitted that she has lost track of how much that has cost her.

Add to that $350,000 for her hot Mercedes and Beemer, plus a small fortune on lawyer fees for legal troubles of the recent past. It all adds up to trouble unless Ms. Lohan is able to get an acting gig fast.

More Lindsay Lohan

Britney Spears Pays Off K-fed, Linsay Lohan Quits Showbiz

Britney Spears will or will not lose her child custody battle on Monday: take your pick. The predictions are all over the map on this one. Australia’s Herald Sun newspaper is reporting that a “secret witness” is scheduled to testify on Monday about Ms. Spears’ drug use in front of her children.

That type of testimony would surely sway most courts. However, other reports state that Britney and Kevin have already reached an out of court agreement that would allow Britney to retain her current custody rights of 70/30 (Britney gets custody 70% of the time). All she has to do is pay K-fed a mere $2 million to drop the custody case.

Those reports indicate that Kevin has already agreed to the deal although the ink on the contract is barely dry.

The Associated Press is running with the story that K-fed’s lawyer has petitioned the court to permanently seal all custody court documents to keep the prying media away from the truth.

My money is on the money aspect of this case. The $2 million settlement is probably the most likely because that is the way it is with the American judicial system.

Anyone who has been to court in the US knows that the party spending the most money usually wins. Keven may see the dollar signs and give it all up for the 2 mil.

What? Me? Cynical? Why would you think that?

****

The latest on Lindsay Lohan is provided by her father, an admitted alcoholic and drug abuser himself. Michael Lohan, who had been estranged from his daughter, Lindsay, for three years, has now reconciled with Lindsay.

He is reporting that she intends to stay in rehab for another two-three months to be sure that she has the monkey off her back permanently this time.

Michael also says that Lindsay intends to give up show business and her Mercedes for the time being and concentrate on her current hobbies like mucking up horse manure and gardening. The elder Lohan stated that Lindsay wants to move away from the Hollywood types that influenced her into drinking and drugging too much–the type of people who are bad for her.

If Lindsay is still blaming her addictions on her choice of friends, do you really think she is cured? I had heard that an important part of rehab was the willingness to take responsibility for your actions rather than blaming your addiction on others.

But what do I know?

I know that I would have a hard time opting for manure mucking and gardening over a Mercedes. It sounds like ol’ Lindsay could really use some extra time in rehab because she still does not seem to be placing the blame for her troubles where the blame really lies–with herself and the choices she makes.

But she can afford to take another 2-3 months off. She earns just a tad above the minimum wage, doesn’t she?

More Britney Spears…

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More celebrity humor…

Zac Efron to Vanessa Hudgens: I Will Stand By You

Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens’ co-star in “High School Musical 2” and also her real life boyfriend, has promised her his support and is quoted in Life & Style Weekly magazine as telling Vanessa “I’ll stand by you.”

Vanessa has been the object of media and blogosphere derision since a nude photo of her was leaked on the Internet last week. The Disney Channel, which is where HSM 2 has been playing since this summer, has promised that the photo was not a deal killing problem, has dismissed the photo leaking incident as water over the dam and is sticking by Vanessa.

Once the media pounced on the photo leak story, Vanessa fled to Australia to be with Zac, who was there promoting the movie “Hairspray.” Vanessa reportedly “freaked out” about the photos and looked “shell shocked” according to a Melborne, Australia, resident who spotted the couple together.

Read more about Vanessa’s photo leak.

Now the New York Daily News is reporting that additional photos were leaked onto the Internet this week showing Vanessa touching another girl’s breast and kissing a third girl.

Vanessa has been so embarrassed about the photos that she canceled an appearance on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show on Thursday night.

Because both Vanessa and Zac are tween mega stars, the pre-teen set are reportedly even more enamored with the couple because Zac has promised to stand by his girl. How romantic is that?

The real question here is who hates the 18-year-old Vanessa so much that he or she would resort to leaking these photos onto the Internet? There has been little speculation about the source of the photos, but after thorough investigation, the patrons at McCafferty’s Pub have come up with a few possibilities:

Here are the top ten possible sources of the Vanessa Hudgens photo leaks:

10) The George Bush administration. It is rumored that Karl Rove set this plan into action prior to his recent resignation from the White House. The logic is that any news that draws attention away from the Iraq war is worthwhile.

9) Osama Bin Laden. Osama’s faulty logic is that nude photos of movie stars will undermine the world’s devotion to anything Hollywood. Obviously, Bin Laden doesn’t know much about Hollywood.

8) Britney Spears. Britney felt that getting another star into trouble would draw attention away from her foolish behavior.

6 & 7) Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton for the same reasons Britney had.

5) The Disney Channel. The Disney folks supposedly still believe that even bad publicity is good publicity in Hollywood.

4) Vanessa herself. It is possible that Vanessa also believes the any publicity theory.

3) Zac Efron. Zac is looking like a hero because he has promised to stand by his gal. What better reason is there to leak the photos?

2) Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband Frederic Van Anhalt because it is said that Frederic intends to claim that he is Vanessa’s real father. He reportedly wants to come to Vanessa’s rescue, and claiming to be her father will give him the publicity he so desperately seeks.

1) Michael Vick. It is theorized that the suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback has been staging fights between 18-year-old starlets and thought that releasing the photos might help promote his starlet fights.

More Celebrity Humor…

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Vanessa Hudgens, the Hollywood Un-Scandal

In case you have not heard about it, a Hollywood scandal in the making was scuttled recently before it could ever amount to anything. The question is, how could that be even remotely possible in our scandal loving society? That does not sound like the Hollywood we all know and…love?

Naturally, Hollywood thrives on scandals. You know the old saying: any publicity is good publicity, or something along those lines.

It seems that Vanessa Hudgens, the remarkably cute, co-star of “High School Musical 2” was caught with her pants down, literally. “High School Musical 2” is playing on the Disney channel, and, of course, we all know that wholesomeness and Disney are virtually synonymous.

Well, Vanessa had somehow allowed a nude photo of herself to escape onto the Internet, and the idea of a nude 18-year-old Vanessa floating around the blogosphere promised to irk even the most liberal Disney executives.

Vanessa and “HSM 2” both cater to the tweens, those youngsters who somehow no longer qualify as children and who now yearn to be teenagers. Really! There are people who want to be teens.

If you are a 10-12 year-old male suddenly awakening to sexuality, Vanessa is to die for. If you are a similarly aged female, this 18-year-old star is your ultimate role model.

Well, naturally, the Disney folks were truly worried that parents would rebel at the concept of their daughters trying to be more like a naked Vanessa. It’s okay to emulate a wholesome Vanessa, but naked on the Internet? Your kids can beg, “Oh, please, Mom,” all day, but nudity and Disney simply do not mix, and what Mom longs to see her daughter in the altogether on her MySpace page?

There were predictions of Vanessa getting sacked and the belief that mothers everywhere would be up in arms. Gossip pundits unanimously promised that Disney would crack the whip with Vanessa.

Do you know what happened? Disney said, well, that is unfortunate, but we can live with it. We sure hope that Vanessa has learned her lesson.

With that, an enormous scandal simply evaporated. Disney responded in a mature and adult manner, and the rest of Hollywood said, “Oh…”

I just do not get it! Hollywood executives behaving in a completely civilized way. What is our world coming to?

If this type of behavior were to continue, who knows what else might happen or might have happened? Imagine George Bush in 2002-2003 telling the nation that he really wanted to invade Iraq, but his inspectors were not able to find weapons of mass destruction. Would George really have said, “Let’s avoid a blood bath and spend our time fighting the real war on terror.”

Maybe Osama Bin Laden will produce another video telling America, “You know, I had intended to bomb Americans back to oblivion, but…never mind. I guess I will play golf instead.”

What if Lindsay Lohan told reporters, “I probably should have been out last night partying, but I decided to stay home and read a book.”

If this totally unpredictable behavior from a Hollywood powerhouse like Disney catches on, and other people also begin to behave in a similarly rational manner, it may intimate one very scary thought: there may be hope for the world yet.

Zac Pledges Support for Vanessa…

More celebrities humor…

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Lindsay Lohan Beats System, Gets One Day in Jail

Lindsay Lohan entered a plea agreement in Los Angeles County Superior Court that allows her to serve only one day in jail.

Lohan was charged with seven misdemeanor counts stemming from two drunken driving arrests in the last four months.

Felony charges of possession of cocaine were not filed because of the small of cocaine Lindsay possessed when she was arrested.

Lindsay is shown here smiling. You would be smiling too if you just avoided what might have been a long jail sentence.

Lohan also must serve tens days of community service and complete a drug treatment program.

Lindsay proved that it pays to have good lawyers because it was reported earlier that she could have received a sentence of at least a year in prison.

Los Angeles court officials stated that Lohan received the same sentence that anyone else would get. That seems a bit hard to believe considering the sentence Paris Hilton received earlier this year.

Paris spent 23 days of a 45 day sentence she received for lesser charges.

If I ever get arrested in LA, give me the phone number to Lindsay’s lawyers. I would take one day in jail over 23 days any time.

Lindsay also received 36 months probation, which may be the most telling of her sentence. Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers stated that Lindsay could face more severe penalties if she violates her probation.

Meyers stated that Lohan could get a much stiffer sentence in that event–as much as one year on each drunk driving and cocaine possession charge; however, it would be at the judge’s discretion.

The only way Lindsay is going to make it through three years’ probation is either to hire a chauffeur or to move out of California.

This girl has proven she is not capable of managing her addictions. Her last arrest came in July only 11 days after she was released from rehab.

One thing we can all count on is hearing more about Lindsay’s troubles with the law.

More Lindsay Lohan…

More Paris Hilton…

More Celebrities humor…

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan Update

Here are the latest on Britney and Lindsay:

Britney Spears had another public meltdown recently when she smashed her Mercedes into a parked car and did not bother to notify the owner. Video of the incident shown here and on celebtv.com clearly shows Britney ramming her vehicle into a parked Mercedes and showing no apparent concern for what she did to the other vehicle. Her only concern appears to be for the damage to her own Mercedes.

The 25-year-old singer also is the subject of additional gossip regarding a public 2 AM truth-or-dare party game in which Britney reportedly went topless at a hotel swimming pool and allowed herself to be groped and kissed by a 21-year-old extra from her recent video.

Matt Encinias, the actor and college student who fooled around with Britney, said, “Britney was the first one to undress, and then everyone else followed. I turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot.”

Lindsay Lohan rumors abound that she is now pregnant, which is reportedly the real reason she is in hiding at Cirque Lodge rehab treatment center in Sundance Utah. The rumors have been reported on several Internet gossip sites, but there has been no confirmation from anyone in Lindsay’s camp.

Lindsay’s former bodyguard recently came forward in defense of the 21-year-old actress saying that Lindsay’s parents were both abusive and neglectful toward her. Bodyguard, Tony Almeida, claims that he once intervened between Lindsay and her father on the Long Island Espressway when Lindsay’s father was calling her a slut and pushing her against the hood of the car.

“From a young age, she dealt with her father’s physical, emotional and drug abuses as well as her mother’s drinking,” Almeida said. He also said that Lindsay’s mother, Dina Lohan, allowed her to sleep over with boys at the age of 15.

The bodyguard also revealed that Dina also “let her do whatever she wanted, just to keep her happy and working. (At her 16th birthday party) Lindsay drank whatever she wanted – I saw her drinking beer and mixed drinks with my own eyes,” he said.

More Britney Spears…

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Lindsay Lohan Enters Rahab for Third Time

Lindsay Lohan is giving rehab another try. According to theInsiderOnline.com, Lindsay has gone to Sundance, Utah, and checked into the Cirque Lodge, which bills itself as a center that treats drug and alcohol addiction, and provides detoxification and treatment for substance abuse.

Town and Country magazine lists Cirque Lodge as one of the top rehab centers in the nation. Prices start at a whopping $30,000 and rapidly head up from there.

The facilities (on the right) are lush, plush and top of the line.

Lindsay is expected to stay at Cirque for a minimum of 30 days. She tried rehab back in January at Wonderland in California, and then underwent treatment at the Promises clinic in Malibu in May.

Unfortunately, neither of the first two treatments seems to have made a significant difference, because Lindsay had a meltdown in late July, when she was arrested after allegedly chasing the mother of her former assistant through the streets of Los Angeles in her SUV.

She faces charges of two DUIs, possession of cocaine, and driving with a suspended license. She could easily end up with a year or more in prison because of her recent run ins with the law.

That is a pretty extensive rap sheet for someone who just turned 21 in early July.

More Lindsay Lohan…

Lindsay Lohan Meets George Bush

Here are a couple more LIndsay Lohan gems and one about President Bush:

Lindsay Lohan was arrested for a DWI and felony possession of cocaine.

Your move Paris.

——

Lindsay Lohan has said she didn’t do it and proclaimed her innocence.

Finally! An oscar worthy performance.

——

It has been a tough week for George Bush. He’s facing Senate hearings, congressional investigations, a colonoscopy. It is just one probe after another.

– Thanks again to David Letterman

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Huge Party Planned for Paris Hilton

Our favorite Parisian, Paris Hilton, is wasting no time getting back into party mode. The Times of London is reporting online that Rick and Kathy Hilton, Paris’ parents, are planning a huge bash at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas after her release from the slammer on Tuesday.

Kathy Hilton is reportedly “seeking sponsors” for Paris’ welcome home party in Caesars’ casino. It appears that we now know where Paris learned her yen for lavish parties. When you are “seeking sponsors” for your coming home bash, it is unlikely that it will be a small family affair.

Hollywood.com, on the other hand, is reporting that Kathy Hilton said she is planning only a time at the family home for Paris to “decompress.”

And, according to the Associated Press, Paris is scheduled to be Larry King’s guest for one hour on Wednesday, June 27th. There had been rumors that Paris was to receive as much as one million dollars to be interviewed on the Today Show on NBC. ABC also was rumored to have Barbara Walters interview Paris.

However, CNN’s spokesperson, Bridget Leininger, confirmed that Paris will be on “Larry King Live” on Wednesday. CNN has stated that Paris is not receiving any compensation for the interview.

If the party rumors are true, hopefully, Lindsay Lohan will be released from her rehab session at Mailbu’s Promises addiction clinic by the time Paris’ party rolls around so that she would be able to attend the gala. But that is probably unlikely.

Lindsay had to cancel her own birthday bash scheduled for July 2nd at PURE nightclub in Las Vegas because of her stay at Promises. Paris will undoubtedly not wait to party hearty because she has denied herself any indulgence since she entered the slammer the night of June 3rd.

23 days without indulging is difficult for any addict, so you should rest assured that Paris is ready to party. It seems that her parents appear ready, willing and able to help her obtain that goal.

It sounds a bit like a broken record, doesn’t it? Paris ends up in the cooler because she violates her probation which started with a DUI. Now it appears she is all set to do it all over again.

Some things never change.

More Paris Hilton Watching…

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Paris Hilton Graffiti…

Paris Prison Release Tuesday

Paris Hilton is scheduled to be released from prison on Tuesday, June 26th, the early release will be her reward for her good behavior while incarcerated.

It was originally reported by “The New York Post” that Paris had landed a one million dollar payday for an NBC Today show interview after her release, however, NBC has denied this rumor. She was also rumored to be scheduled to be interviewed by Barbara Walters of ABC, but ABC has also denied that report.

It is certainly possible that the two networks were competing for the first post prison Paris Hilton interview but then backed off because of negative public reaction. ABC News and Reuters are reporting that all three major networks are denying that any one of them intended to interview our favorite Parisian; however, it is more likely that they were simply testing the waters to gauge public reaction to the concept.

When public reaction turned negative toward a celebration of her release from the cooler, the networks probably thought better of their plan to reward Paris and her Parasites (supporters) with even greater media attention. It is very likely, however, that Paris will be able to turn this jail time into a hefty payday. Her name is now a household word, and dollars usually follow celebrity in the good old USA. A smaller media entity will probably make the jump to touting Paris’ release with an interview or TV show of some sort. As long as the payoff is under a million dollars and they are discrete about the affair, the uproar might be kept to a minimum.

“The Washington Post” reported on Saturday that “People” magazine confirmed that it has cut a deal with Getty Images for first photos of Paris’ release. “The New York Post” has reported that deal could be worth as much as $300,000.

In an issue related to Paris’ prison release, the international liquor consumption rankings were recently released. The USA wound up in 40th place internationally when it comes to liquor consumption. The US used to be in first place in past years, and for years drank in the kudos for being the king of consumption. However, it is rumored that the US might once again regain its old world ranking title once Paris Hilton is released from slammer and Lindsay Lohan finds her way out of rehab.

LA nightclubs have been hurting for business since the two celebrities were forced out of the nightclub scene. Layoffs and grumbling have been the mainstay at most joints. The duos’ release should add a bit to the morale of an industry that was recently ailing. Then, with those two at the helm of our ship, we should be able to again bring the USA to a position of prominence within the liquor consumption rankings.

More Paris Hilton Humor…

Try Paris Hilton Graffiti…

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No More Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is out of jail in record time. Five days and she’s out!

Do you still think the rich and famous get treated the same as the rest of us? How many poor African-American women get released from a 45 day jail sentence in only five Days? Zero!

How many poor Puerto Rican women get released from a 45 day jail sentence in only five days? Zero!

How many poor Hispanic women get released from a 45 day jail sentence in only five days? Zero!

How much confidence does this second generation son of Irish immigrants now have in the US legal system?

You guessed it! I don’t even have to say it. I wonder how much red tape there is in emigrating to Ireland?

Do you think somebody was paid off? Oh no! That never happens.

Here’s a little of what David Letterman had to say:

“She wasn’t in long enough to sober up.”

“Now Paris is under house arrest on a four acre Bel-Air estate. That will teach her.”

Jay Leno asked: “How did the other women treat her? They cursed at her, spit on her and pulled her hair. They treated her just like Lindsay Lohan does.”

This certainly makes me want to buy one of her CDs or DVDs.

More Paris Hilton Humor…